Sunday, October 12, 2014


Super Smash Brothers for Nintendo 3DS Characters

Well, I've had the game since launch, I've played it for just hours upon hours, and I'm ready to offer up some in-depth opinions about some of the characters, new and old, that have made it into this new Smash Brothers.

Spoilers, because you totally haven't been spending the last three months scouring the internet for all of that juicy leaked info on the roster, right?

Dr. Mario -- Hell.  FUCKING.  YES.  Dr. Mario is the character I most wanted and least expected to see make a return.  Sure, he's just a Mario clone -- but he's a Mario clone without FLUDD.  Add that goofy megavitamin attack, and you've got my new main.

Luigi -- Hey, they fixed his Final Smash!  Neat.

Villager -- I was one of the folks rooting for some form of Animal Crossing representation in Brawl, so it was a pleasant surprise to see Villager join the roster.  I'm intrigued, in particular, by the down special, "Timber".  The first time you do it, you plant a tree.  The second time, you water it, smashing anyone who gets in the way of its growth spurt.  The third time, it becomes an axe.  You can either cut down the tree -- with a satisfying smash to anyone it lands on -- or use it on your opponents.  Very elaborate move, but it works well.

Duck Hunt -- It seems like every Smash Brothers has that one character that I never expected to see that makes me squeal like the immature little fanboy I still am, and this time it's Duck Hunt.  Not "the Duck Hunt dog", mind you, just Duck Hunt.  You play as the embodiment of Duck Hunt, and indeed most of the NES Zapper games.  Sure, you move the dog around the level, but there's clearly someone with a Zapper shooting at the screen on your behalf.  Really interesting implementation for what many considered a "joke" character.

Wii Fit Trainer -- I was on-board with the Wii Fit Trainers ever since their first announcement.  I love Wii Fit, and seeing the trainers kicking butt while offering up fitness advice sounded like a hoot.  What I didn't count on was how unsettling it would be to hear them crying out in pain as they're smashed around.  Maybe it's just the fact they come from such a calm and peaceful place; it's weird seeing them blasted by robots and chewed on by dragons.

Olimar -- Technical limitations, eh?  Something that made Olimar who he is got lost when he went down to three Pikmin.  Sad.

Ice Climbers -- :(

Rosalina -- So I guess Rosalina is the two-in-one fighter in the roster since the Ice Climbers are absent. I'd like to get better with her, but... I have a hard time seeing her as a combatant in a sense that's different from, say, Peach.  Rosalina is... well, she's the all-mother of the Mario universe.  She's gentle.  Serene.  It would be like putting Mother Teresa in a fighting game.

Bowser Jr. -- In a fighting game series known for its odd combatants, Bowser Jr. is the one that actually breaks my brain a little.  So... he's riding around in a flying machine... but he doesn't fly it... and also he's all of the koopalings... but they never ride the clown car... or turn into Shadow Mario... but they... how they... I mean...  I can't tell if this is an ingenious way to fit a whole pile of minor characters into the roster or just a huge clusterfuck.

Little Mac -- Hey, only took them four tries to get their actual tournament fighting character into their tournament fighting game.  Everyone on Miiverse is complaining about how overpowered he is.  Maybe I'll figure out why someday.

Pac-Man -- Pac-Man was the character I didn't realize I needed to see in a Smash Brothers game.  I mean, come on.  He is video games.  You simply cannot call your classic video game party complete if he's not there.  Only thing that sticks out?  Considering all of the gender-switching, alt-skinning options in this game, Ms. Pac-Man is conspicuous in her absence.  All well.

Flying Man -- Look, I love Earthbound.  And Magicant was one of my favorite parts of that game.  But I really could have done without the Flying Men.  They're like a Pokemon or an Assist Trophy, except that, instead of delivering an attack or two and vanishing, they persist as an ally to the first person who touches them until they're knocked out.  They're way too strong and way too difficult to defeat.  Fighting on Magicant is reduced to hanging out on the platform where the Flying Men spawn and then sitting back to watch.  Hmmph.

Waluigi -- I was disappointed when Sakurai announced that Waluigi would only be an assist trophy, but look!  There he is!

Wow!  His moves are mostly a parody of Luigi's -- a shot put instead of a fireball, a flaming kick instead of the Luigi tornado, and a hyper multi-striking uppercut instead of Luigi's one-coin punch -- but just like Mario, he has a unique down special where he slams head-first into the ground!  And his Final Smash lets him throw an opponent into the center of the screen, where he's pummeled repeatedly before being smashed away!  I hardly need to tell you he's my new favorite character ever.  My only complaint would be that his model is a little off, but you can hardly tell in the thick of the fight.

Lucas -- Nintendo still hasn't given us Mother 3.  So no, I actually still don't care.

Mega Man -- Snake was an odd choice for Smash Brothers.  Sonic was better, even if he's not that cool anymore.  But Mega Man?  Holy crap, you can't get any more NES than that.  I don't think I could go back to a Smash Brothers without Mega Man.

Zero Suit Samus -- Much as I miss my Pokemon Trainer, the decision to nix mid-battle character transformations did one bit of good.  I never truly got to know Zero Suit Samus because the usual way to get her was to do Samus's Final Smash.  Yeah, there was a button to start in Zero Suit, but I could never remember it.  Point is, she's just a regular roster pick now, just the way she should be.

Mii Fighters -- When I wanted Miis for Brawl, I was expecting, oh, I dunno, moves based on Wii Sports or Wii Play or something.  Just a single character type, and you could switch the heads around.  What we got was just amazing.  I've got fifteen Mii Fighters in my roster, from people I know to popular characters to characters of my own invention.  Unlocking the costumes and hats has been my top priority, and selecting the perfect combination of stat adjustments and special moves to represent my characters' personalities has been my favorite pasttime.  Not to mention snapping pictures of my creations.

The Rest of 'Em -- Meh.


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